I have been thinking a lot about my life, lately. Trying to evaluate exactly why I may be feeling so unhappy with my life lately. I am easily frustrated, not very positive, everything seems so much of an effort. I kind of feel isolated from people. I think this is a general feeling of my life…because that same feeling has been something I have dealt with for years. Maybe it’s just part of my personality, I don’t know. I am not really sure what is ok to write about on my blog anymore. It seems like every post ends up getting edited. (usually suggested by someone I know). Why am I offending people? What is wrong with me lately? These are really self-centered thoughts, I know. Nobody likes to hear that kind of stuff. Especially not you, I am sure, who probably reads my blog because I talk about my kids, my job, or maybe because I “am” an artist (sorry about that one – not drawing anymore…a whole other subject, I think). Anyway, years ago, there was what was called a 30 day adventure…or maybe it was 40 days. But it was a thing that you found a lot of churches participating in…kind of like the Experiencing God series. During the first one that we participated in, I remember people talking about God sightings. The things in your day that you realize God has a hand in. Well, if you are a Christian, you know God has his hand in everything, but recognizing it proved to be a huge encouragement to me and those I shared it with. That God sighting thing has kind of stuck around…been called different things, but never left my mind. I have to say that God is working in me this weekend. I have been feeling kind of down and discouraged about many things recently, as I stated…and this weekend I feel like God has been really trying to show me that He cares, number one…and also that he is in control of every little situation…if I will let him be. So, you know…maybe it’s stretching it to call my whole one dollar Color Surge buy a God sighting…but it definitely was exciting and encouraging and maybe that’s what God knew I needed. Plus, you aren’t going to believe this, but I decided to do one more load of laundry before I went to bed last night and decided I should do a white (bleach) load because I had a lot of dishtowels and dishcloths that needed to get cleaned. As I was searching through the HUGE laundry pile on the floor to find any more stray socks or dishcloths, I discovered two twenty dollar bills that had fallen between the dehumidifier and the crates that I set my laundry soap on. I was SO excited about that…but then I have to wonder, how did I lose $40 and not realize it? But I thanked God anyway because I need to go back and buy that laminating film today and we had some extra money so we could go out to dinner today. Then we we came home, our neighbor’s dad was mowing my lawn. You might think that’s weird, but we let Holly use our lawnmower when she needs to. Only lately, I haven’t been able to get it started. So he was over helping her with some things around her house and he put in a new spark plug and changed out the gas and got it running. I have not mowed my grass since we got back in August. Well actually, I did mow the front once, but the back was probably a good 8 inches tall! I do have some raking to do, but I told Holly, that was probably one of the biggest things anyone could ever do for me…and it made my day. I was so thankful that he fixed the lawnmower and then to mow my grass on top of that was a HUGE blessing. And then there was the sermon today. The scripture was from Haggai…a book, I have to say, I am not real familiar with. Today I actually took my bible to church. I haven’t used my Bible for a long time. At church, I just use the pew bibles and honestly, every bible I have seems like it adds an extra 5 pounds to everything I already carry, with the baby and all the stuff that goes along with that. So I usually just leave it at home. I picked my Life Application Bible (given to me by my parents when I was in high school, I think) Apparently sometime I had listened to a sermon or something about the same scripture that Pastor Mark read and preached on today. Here are some of the notes I had written in the margins and some of the things that are written as applications for the scripture:
“If God gives you a task, don’t be afraid to get started. His resources are infinite. God will help you complete it by giving encouragement from others along the way.”
So…not only has God equipped us with what we need to accomplish the task (in this case, rebuilding the temple) with his help (dependence on Him) but he helps us get through it and see it to completion by giving encouragement from others (the prophets, Haggai and Zechariah)…maybe encouragement, not directly related to the task – which could just be life right now – God showing up in my everyday life…like finding a great deal, someone serving me by mowing my lawn, somehow…supernaturally I imagine…making me forget that I had lost forty dollars so that I could be surprised when I found it.
“Be strong, and work. For I am with you. Do not fear.” Haggai 2:4,5
So, tonight…facing another week of hard work, my outlook is a little different…I am encouraged at how God is showing up…even when I am not searching for Him. That he has placed me here in these situations at this particular time in my life…and his purpose is bigger than I know, so I need to lean on him, and He has promised to give me the resources & encouragement I need to get through it all. That is what I have learned this weekend. Maybe it can be an encouragement to you too!
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